It maybe worst but still it gets better

        Sembreak? I thought it was fun. I thought it was a kind of relaxation. I thought it was a stress relief. I thought it was a time for your family. I thought it was really worth it. But it's not. It's all just a dream that turned into my nightmare. A nightmare that made an impact to my life. A huge impact to myself. So why should I tell it was worth it, when it was totally not? Why should I say I'm happy when the truth is I'm broken?

        October 28, 2013 when all of us will celebrate the victory of my uncle in the barangay election.  We never thought he'd be the top notcher that's why it's totally amazing. What an achievement for him and honor for his family. But before the celebration occurs we went home first. While I'm lying in my bed, resting. My mother was shouting "Jowell! Jowell". I panic so I went out. Unluckily, I saw my grandfather lying at the middle of the road with no life. I cried. I went histerical. My body started to shake. He was unconscious. It was like he was really dead that's why we went to the hospital very fast not knowing what will happen next. Luckily, my brother was very calm while I'm holding his hand my brother was giving him CPR when he grasp the hand I was holding. My grandfather was awake and responded to the CPR. How thankful I am he was alive. Atleast he was. 

        This incident made me traumatized. I also saw things that were unusual. It was like I'm hallucinating. It feels that there was a heavy thing inside my heart. I can't sleep that night. I keep thinking of the hit and run incident. I was bothered. Hatred is inside of me until there was a time when I really curse that person who did this to him. I really want them to die because people like them don't live in this world because they don't have a heart. All of them should be the one being hit by a car and experience things we experienced. 

        Now, you know why my sembreak was not worth it. How could I say it was worrth in when I stayed at the hospital until November 2? I'm not glad of what happened to us because we're not that rich. We're not the kind of people who have a lot of money again this is our main problem, money. Where will we get 200,000 pesos right away for his operation. Is this what you call stress free? I can really say its not. So again how could it be worth it when my dream turn into my worst nightmare?

        Maybe yes, its not worth it. Maybe yes, its a nightmare. But I just want to add something before I end it up, I admit my sembreak was not worth it but still I learn. I learn something that was extraordinary. This extraordinary thing is miracle. Miracle because my grandfather has no heart beat when we took him but then God gave him a second chance. He gave us a second chance. This miracle gave me another hope that everything is really possible. Now, I can say that I'm not really a believer of God instead I'm his daughter and follower. So what is wrong for having a worst sembreak? It doesn't matter because what matter is that I learned and he was a life given another chance.